Saturday, December 04, 2010

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." - Alexander Graham Bell

Tonight was really hard, but before I go into that, I need to talk about what has happened over the last few months. So, last year I became best friends with this boy who will remain nameless. We did everything together: studied, watched the olympics, talked about the people we liked...talked about everything. After about 6 months of being best friends, we both kind of figured out that we liked each other. And, as the story would go, we began dating. I ended up going home for the summer, but we dated long distance. I visited him about 3 weeks before school started, and we spent a lot of time catching up. He mentioned things about our future together, so when he broke up with me a week later, it was kind of a surprise. Another surprise was finding out he had a girlfriend the next week when school began. Needless to say, things have been hard. I see him all the time, and I can hardly stand being in the same room with him. But, I think what hurts the most, is that he proposed to this other girl last week. I don't like him anymore, but it is hard, because she could be me. And, I don't know why it didn't work out. I am glad it didn't. But my dream in life is to find that person that I can spend forever with and become a mom...to do those things that I should do as a daughter of God for the rising generation. So, to see that slip through my fingers makes me feel like rain on a cloudy day. It makes me scared that I will never have that future that I most desire. I found comfort in the Alexander Graham Bell quote. When a door closes, another will open. And while the future is scary I realize that I need to look to that door in front of me, quit looking at the past, and step through that door.